This past Monday, I came across a photo of myself from 2012. It was a picture of me at my peak weight, almost 300 pounds. It still blows my mind when I look at that photo. I hardly know that person anymore. Let’s be clear, I am not this lean adonis of man (YET), but I am much smaller than I used to be. Over the past two days I have been thinking a lot about “the old Jeffrey.” There is one clear decision that I am glad I acted on. Hiring a trainer.

When it came right down to it. I hated going to the gym, I didn’t feel comfortable in the gym, I felt as though I didn’t belong, that the gym I was going to was exclusive to fit people and folks who knew what they were doing.

It wasn’t until I decided to take action and hire a trainer that I was more motivated to go to the gym.

When I started training with Jared, things began to change for me. I became more confident. I felt like I belonged at the gym, I had a goal and I was learning my way around the gym. Jared helped me face my fear of my own insecurity and push past it. These choices were some of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. I am grateful that I decided to own my life.

This blog post is dedicated to all of us who are terrified of the judgement or rejection that we experience when we go to the gym. We fill our minds with garbage that we don’t belong there, or the work is too hard. That’s bullshit. I can say that, because those are phrases that still fill  my mind, but I push past it. No one has the right, not even me, to diminish my dreams or my goals to become the person I want to be.

My greatest admiration is not for the folks who look like they have lived in a gym since childhood. I admire the average guy/gal who is there sweating, putting in the work, not knowing the outcome. I respect them, because I get them. I have NEVER had a six pack. I don’t know what it’s gonna feel like when I have a six pack, but I know I am willing to drive towards it.

I am sure many can relate, but these are things I do know: I know what it feels like to eat a whole pizza, gorge on cake, cookies, drink booze, soda, you name it. That’s how I got to 300 pounds. These are the toughest habits to break. It’s easy to revert to old trusted habits and find solace in front of the t.v. with a bag of Doritos, but for me, these all lead to regret. I don’t do regrets–they annoy me.

These days, I am not finding comfort in food. I am training for me. I like how I feel AFTER I step off the stair-master, AFTER I have done 10 pull-ups on my own, or finished 7 sets of 10 push-ups. Yeah, during those exercises I hate my life. The pain sucks, but it’s worth it. I am doing things I’ve never done before.

I want to leave you with a few words of wisdom. No one can ease your anxieties about the gym. Jared gave me the tools to help make me better, but it was me, who kept going back. I want to encourage you, if you want to see a change in your life. Make it happen. You will be so glad you did. We all have a choice, to stay where we are, or to do something different. Doing something different is terrifying, but if I wouldn’t have taken the risk…I would still be 300 pounds.